A New Job

So, today I started my new job and i'm catching a lot a slack for it, from family and so called friends. They say it's demeaning and I shouldn't do it. My mother even said that it was just as bad a prostitution. I'm talking about phone sex. The way I see it, it's perfect for me. I can make my own hours which gives me time to devote to my writing. I'm not working for anyone else so I don't have anyone on my ass all the time, getting on my nerves, causing me health issues, and more stress than it's worth. And the money is great. Maybe when they see my first paycheck, they'll be a little more understanding. What I make at my nine to five in 2 weeks, I make in a week doing this. So, i'm helping some stranger get his rocks off. It's acting. I'm looking at the bigger picture here and it's a means to an end. This is going to allow me to quit my other job, and be the writer that I'm destined to be and I won't have to move back home with my mother to do it. I really don't care what other people think. It's not porn. It's phone sex. No biggie...

Plus, I'm damn good at it. 8-)

Friends??

I'm looking at how my life has gone these past few months and I'm wondering, what exactly makes a person a friend to me. Is that person there for me in my time of need? Do we spend time together? Does that person listen when I need him or her to? Can I always be myself around that person? These are questions that I've asked myself over and over because I've always prided myself on being very selective of who I label as my friend. What I've come to realize is that the people I've surrounded myself with over the years who I felt that I wholeheartedly trusted, loved, and cared for, aren't really the type of people who I'd consider my friends now. So, now my question is, as we grow older, experience new things, and go through our ups and downs, do my friends have to change as I change?

Life Changing Decisions

So, what do you do when you're 7 months away from turning 30 and it hits you that you're just going through the motions, living a life that you never envisioned for yourself? Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis before you hit your mid-life? I believe it is but I also believe that what I'm going through is for the best. People keep telling me 'you're young, you're young...you have your whole life ahead of you' but when I look back on the goals and dreams that I had just ten years ago, I feel like I've been holding myself back, afraid of a real challenge, afraid to live the life that was meant for me. Now, I do not know exactly what that life is, however, I do know that I'm not supposed to be unhappy all of the time. Maybe every once in awhile but not every day.
So, I'm going to do something about it. I'm making a life changing decision and I feel so relieved, it's not even funny. Like, once I turned my back on what is holding me back, I see nothing but positive things happening for me. No, I do not think it's too late. I think it's right on time. I have to do what makes me happy and I don't care if I fall down. I'll get back up and try again. I won't be afraid of failure because I can't fail at this. Failure is not an option. From now on, that word is no longer in my vocabulary. So, I'm staying positive and optimistic and I've put myself in a situation where I can do that. For that, I respect myself a little more.

Sunday Morning

For some strange reason, Sunday is the day of the week that I dread most. I use to love Sundays, especially when I was little. Going to church, seeing my cousins, and then getting together with them afterwards. But now, all Sunday feels like is a reminder that Monday is coming and it's sad. Because now, I have the reminder that no matter what I do today, unless I get a call from an agent or publisher, I have to go to a place that makes hell look like Disney World and make just enough money to get me through another week. I have to mentally transform into a person I'm not and I have to stay that person for the next 5 days. It's disheartening.

Getting Published

I've been getting so many emails from my website from fellow authors who want to know how to get published so I'm going to attempt to answer some of their questions. First and foremost, getting published by a traditional publishing house is very very...and I cannot stress this enough...very hard. Traditional houses aren't buying what they used to and aren't taking major chances on first time authors. What is mainly coming out of the traditional houses are books by established authors. Of course, if you're writing a self-help book, and that's currently the trend these days, you may have a better chance. Of course, you will need to be an expert (which can be proven) in whatever you're writing about.
So, in order to get published by a traditonal, and by traditional, I'm talking Random House, Simon & Schuester...etc, you will need to have a killer agent. 99% of publishing companies DO NOT ACCEPT MANUSCRIPTS FROM AUTHORS (unsolicited manuscripts). If you find one that does, lucky you. Get a copy of the 2009 Writer's Market, the 2009 Guide to Literary Agents, subscribe to any website that will give you agent listings, grab a highlighter (the clickable sharpies are the best) and go to town.
After you've compiled a list of agents that you feel would be a good fit for you (remember you're going to be paying this person at least 15%) then you have to write a helluva query letter. And that's hard to do. But a query letter is the first thing an agent sees and it has to pull them in and get their attention. It's the first impression that this agent will have of you and most times, it's the only impression you'll get to make. There are no second chances with query letters.
Once an agent has responded to your letter, they will ask you to provide samples of your work. You should have this ready to send at a moments notice. I personally have the first 100 pages of my book, the first 3 chapters, the first 10 pages, and the entire manuscript saved in a word document, and as a pdf, just in case. I have hard copies and bound review copies ready.
After that, it's a waiting game. If the agent feels like you're work is profitable and that they can sell it, they will offer you a contract. When you sign with an agent, you can breathe and let him/her do their job and sell your book. You can almost relax until the book is sold because after that, there's editing and rewrites, and promotion that goes along with being a published author.
Or you can do what I did and self-publish. I'll save that story for a later post....STANDBY

Follow Your Dreams?

I was watching something on TV tonight and some famous actor said that in order to "make it out" you have to follow your dreams. And while I do agree with that, what do you do when life, plain and simple, gets in the way of your dreams. When you have bills and kids and illness to deal with, how do you stay on the path of your dream, no matter what it is. How do you devote all of your time and energy into your passion when you don't have the resources to live?
I get so tired of hearing the rich and famous who want for nothing, who's every financial woe is just not a problem talk about how they were able to just devote all their time to their craft and hard work pays off. I've been working hard every day of my life since I was 13 years old and I'm not living my dream. So what am I doing wrong? I wish someone could give me an answer to that question.

Haters just plain hatin...

Ok, It's about time that I said something...I've been holding my tongue too long about this hating thing. Everyone now a days is a hater. For a long time I thought it was just teenagers running about calling everyone and their mama a hater for not liking the newest soulja boy dance or letting their teenage daughters run around town looking like whores. But oh no, it's not just teenagers. It's adults too! You know it's gotten bad when in the corporate world people are complaining that their boss is 'just hatin'. It's outta control!
Basically, if I'm understanding correctly, it's not okay for people to have their own opinions anymore. It's not okay to dislike anything in pop culture and it's definitely not okay to openly say that you are against an idea. After all, you don't want to be labeled as a hater. So next time you see the raggedy looking girl in the club with her ass out, don't say anything about her bein a nasty b**** cuz then you'll just be hatin. If NKOTB comes to a city near you, don't you dare say that they are washed up and should not be performing cuz then you'll be hatin. And if your boss doesn't give you that raise because your performance hasn't been up to par...please by all means vent to your co-workers that she/he is just being a HATER. After all, it's the acceptable thing to do....right?


WRONG!!! STOP USING THAT WORD! IT'S STUPID AND DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERY SINGLE SITUATION.